Keep Walking!!

Few years ago a story of a businessman was making rounds.  This businessman, who apparently was in financing businesses, had his office door made of glass.  He was stationed in the corner most position in the office and would see his visitors walk at least 10 steps before they could sit in the chair in front of his table.  It was said that the businessman used to decide whether to finance the venture before the visitor would sit on the chair! 

Walking is one of those activities, which is in direct control of our subconscious mind and hence it communicates our thinking pattern more than most of the other gestures which is in direct control of our conscious mind.  Just think of the activities we do while we are walking.  We talk to people who are walking with us, we talk on the phone, at times we even read, but for most of us, walking is the best time to think!.  The kind of thoughts we carry will have a direct impact on the way we walk.

Just imagine yourself walking when you are deeply immersed in thoughts.  You would ideally have your head down and would be taking slower steps so as to concentrate on your thoughts.  On the contrary, when you are excited about something or you are going to meet a person whom you are keen to meet you will have your head high and will take faster steps even if you are not in a hurry. 

However, there are certain styles of walking which should be strictly avoided unless the weather is too cold.  Folded arms walk or self hugging walk conveys lack of confidence and insecurity.  Most of the women who are walking alone on a road take up this style of walking.  Hands in the pocket walking, is generally associated with introverts and people who are very private.  People who walk in the above mentioned styles conceal their feelings and personality from outside world and yet at the same time can be cynical and judgmental of others.

Now spend some time and think of the way you walk.  Think of the few steps you take in your office every day.  Do you drag your self to your work station or do you walk as though there are springs on your legs?  Well, the answer might just give an idea on how satisfied you are with your job!

Unlearn the first lesson learnt in school!!

I can still recall my first day in my school.  The first lesson taught to every student in our class was to fold our hands and to put finger on our lips.  I am sure this would be the lesson learnt by most students even to this day.  No wonder for many of us it becomes the most natural gesture to rely upon.

The natural question every one asks on this gesture is – What’s wrong with it?  In fact many people get agitated when they are told that it is a defensive gesture. It indeed is one of the many defensive gestures we come across and it should be avoided in most circumstances.

  Folded hands clearly do two things which should be mostly avoided according to the experts of body language. 

·        It hides the palm

·        It acts as a hindrance between the communicator and the person receiving the communication

Hiding of palm is mostly considered as hiding of thoughts.  Practically speaking one cannot show his/her palm all the time while communicating. However, intentionally taking off the palm out of the communication picture either by hiding it while folding of hands or by putting it inside the pocket can be regarded as hiding of thoughts.

Any physical obstacle between the communicators in terms of natural or unnatural could act as a hinderer of communication.  Brining in natural obstacle like hand could be read as an indirect way of the listener saying, he is not too interested in what the speaker is speaking or he doesn’t have an open mind to listen.

Next time when you see a group of people standing, just join the group and fold your hands.  You’ll see that most people or at least few people would follow you and when they do that the thoughts stop flowing!!

Are you communicating?

“Talent is nothing if it’s not controlled, harnessed and disciplined”. “In the time of prosperity, friends are aplenty; in times of poverty not even one in twenty”. “It's better to prevent and prepare than to repent and repair”.  The above mentioned quotes will surely have a huge impact if used in the right context.  However, even if the context is right, is it possible for these quotes to cause humor instead of any motivational impact?  The answer is yes as the quotes are the famous Sidhuisms!!

Without any doubt Sidhu can be regarded as one of the best communicators in terms of language and intonation, but why is he a cause of humor and is not taken seriously even when most of the aspects of communication are in place?  And why is that most of the people around him will either have a frowning face or a sarcastic smile on their face, while he is making a point with all the effectiveness known to him?  And finally why is it that most of us either mute our TV or change the channel when he is speaking?

Good communicators like trainers, teachers, managers, and HR professionals tend to get into this trap of overusing the verbose language and ignoring certain cardinal rules of communication.  However effective the communicator could be with language, it’s important for the person receiving the communication to like the communicator.  If the communicator offends the person receiving the communication with body language, behavior and aggressive tone, the message will not be communicated irrespective of its importance.  Excessive use of index finger, holding the person’s shoulder while the other person is trying to make a point, refusing to listen to others will all lead to shutting the minds of people who are receiving the communication.

Next time if you feel like changing the channel while Sidhu is on air, just mute the channel and observe his body language, that could be a lesson of what not to do while communicating!